Culture Shock
by Glory Alchemist
Summary: On an unannounced visit to the Jedi Temple, Bail Organa and Padme Amidala discover some surprising things about the Jedi's private lives.


Bail had been to the Jedi Temple twice before, each time only for a brief business visit. The Order was notorious for its secrecy regarding its residence, letting few outsiders in, and letting even fewer wander around without a guide. Yet they granted Bail Organa and Padme Amidala, their staunchest allies in the Senate, free run of their home when the pair came to deliver a message.

Bail glanced at Padme as they cautiously searched the beautiful halls for Obi-Wan, to whom Bail had decided to deliver the communication. The Chancellor required an immediate meeting with the Jedi to discover exactly why his request for transcripts of Council meetings had not been met. Every comm call to the Temple met with mysterious interference, and so he dispatched Bail to deliver the message. He had low hopes for the outcome of his communication. Lately the Jedi seemed to feel that Palpatine was reaching too far into their private affairs. Slowly but surely, they cut off the Chancellor's previous infiltrations and blocked the way of more. This latest demand, egregious especially from mild-mannered Palpatine, apparently was the straw that broke the roba's back. The Council's official stance on the transcript demand was to outright ignore the issue; even a mention of it from anyone who wasn't a Jedi was met with stubbornly oblivious silence. Bail couldn't decide whether to be exasperated or not. He greatly respected the Jedi, but he greatly respected Palpatine too-or at least, he had…

He tore his thoughts away from that thorny issue back to a less tangled but equally uncomfortable one. Why had Padme taken time away from her packed schedule to come with him? One senator could easily deliver the message. So only a personal desire to enter the Temple could explain her inconveniencing herself like this.

Bail could put two and two together. He'd picked up on the signs months ago: hyper-attentive when mention of everyone's favorite Jedi duo came up, one too many friendly hugs, even the other Jedi's edginess in her presence, which hinted that he knew as well and didn't like it. Bail wished she had fallen in love with someone else, anyone else. Why, oh why did she have to fall in love with Obi-Wan?

So that was why she had come, for a chance to see him after long months of separation. _All well and good, but Padme, don't you remember that this is a den of mind-readers? Be careful! I don't want to see either of you hurt…_

"I can handle this, really," he said, stopping.

Padme shook her head. "I told you. I want to come. I haven't seen Obi-Wan or Anakin in…" She sobered as she realized she couldn't remember the last time specifically. "Too long. Much too long."

Most people wouldn't see through her demeanor, but Bail could read her after so long together. He recognized longing wistfulness when he heard it. Against his better judgment, his heart went out to his friend. He could only imagine what it would be like to be separated from Breha for long periods and not even be able to meet or comm her without looking over his shoulder. He gave a short nod and scanned the halls for a guide. So he would be their accomplice. Just for today.

"Could you tell me where Obi-Wan Kenobi is?" he asked a passing youngling politely.

The Sullustan nodded his head with a very grown-up "Of course, Senator. Follow me, please." Bail and Padme trailed the little boy, who couldn't be more than seven. The youngling led them up a floor, to a more private level of the Temple, where many of the bedrooms were. He pointed to a door marked simply "Refresher." Vaguely, Bail could hear the gurgle of water within-showers.

"Thank you," he said to the youngling, who nodded solemnly and then abruptly sprinted back the way he had come.

"You made him late for class, Bail," Padme teased.

Bail made a face of regret. "Oops." He looked at the door. "You'd better wait out here. I'll go get him." Padme looked around and, spotting Master Kit Fisto, crossed the hall and struck up a conversation to pass the time. Steeling himself for potential awkwardness, Bail activated the sensor pad and stepped inside in sanitary facilities.

Iridescent blue tiles lined the walls, while the floors were covered in textured white tiles that would keep anyone from slipping. The room was larger than he'd expected, about thirty meters by ten. Large sanitary cubicles, doubtless able to function for any of a thousand species' various physical needs, lined the right wall, opposite shower stalls. Four of the twenty stalls were occupied, to judge by the opaque green curtains drawn across their entrances.

Before Bail could call Obi-Wan's name, before he could say a word, the curtain closest to him drew back and out stepped, in a wash of steam, a sinewy, athletic, curiously smiling, dripping, completely naked human girl. All the color drained from Bail's face. His mortification was so complete, he couldn't even comprehend dying from it, couldn't contemplate anything but his grave and irreversible error.

The girl grabbed a towel that hung from a hook right next to the shower, casually tucked it around her body just below the arms, and bowed. "Senator. How may I be of service?"

All that came out of Bail's mouth was a creaky _urk_. How could he have come into the _female 'fresher_ by mistake? "I- I'm sorry-" he began, the pathetic apology so inadequate for the invasion he had visited upon her. Then, from another occupied stall further down the row, came a familiar voice, turned hollow as it echoed in the large room. "Bail?" The curtain pushed aside, a towel was grabbed, and Obi-Wan Kenobi emerged, dripping wet, a surprised smile of welcome spreading across his face. Again Bail was struck dumb, this time with flabbergasted shock. Obi-Wan crossed the space between them in a few quick steps and clasped Bail's forearm in a strong, comradely grip. "It's been- How long has it been?"

"Obi-Wan," Bail whispered breathlessly.

"Hmm?" The Jedi Master looked at his friend in some concern. He didn't seem to notice the young woman behind him, who was now giving the senator a very odd look. "Are you all right, Bail?" Obi-Wan pressed a hand, warm and damp with hot water, to his forehead. His eyes drifted half-closed and his expression glazed as he tried to detect the source of the problem.

Bail jerked away, not out of spite or anger, but because he just had to get to the door. This was insane. "Obi-Wan, this is the _female 'fresher_," he hissed. Surely the man would understand. Did he have an untreated concussion again, one so bad that he would mix up the layout of his own home?

Obi-Wan looked around. "Well, I suppose it is," he allowed, and calmly set about drying off.

"Obi-Wan-" Bail began when the door shot open as if desperate to get out of the way, and Anakin skidded in.

The younger Knight nearly collided with Obi-Wan, barely managing to stop himself, only to end up nose-to-nose with him. "Miss me?" he asked with a winning grin.

Obi-Wan snorted. "After spending three months no one but you and your ego in the Outer Rim? No."

Anakin plunked down onto the bench that ran the length of the center of the room and swung his feet back and forth. "Oh, come on. I missed you." Rarely had Bail seen Anakin so playful.

To Bail's horror, the girl pulled off the towel and scrubbed vigorously at her mane of bright blond hair.

Anakin spared her a glance. "Oh, hi, Dannie."

"Hello, Anakin."

Anakin glanced at Bail. His demeanor immediately frosted over. "Senator." Bail could only stare.

Then, from outside, he heard Padme call, "Bail? Are you all right?" Anakin's head snapped around. "What in the-" he muttered, just as the door opened and Padme peered in.

First her eyes landed on the young woman, and she blinked in surprise. A slight blush colored her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I'll just-" Then she spotted the little congregation toward the middle of the 'fresher. "Bai-" She began. "Ob- _Anakin?_"

Anakin half-started up from the bench, eyes glued to her. Just as quickly, he sat back down, but continued staring.

Obi-Wan tucked the towel back around his waist and bowed in welcome, glancing up with a warm smile. "It is always good to see you, Padme."

"O-of course. Obi-Wan-"

"Don't leave the door open," the girl named Dannie interjected. "You're letting in cold air. It's the middle of winter, in case you've forgotten," she said, directing her last remark to her fellow Jedi.

"As if," Anakin said with an affected shiver. "What are you doing here?" He shot the question at Padme, sounding more distressed than the occasion called for. Unless he was distressed over the fact that Obi-Wan and Dannie were both _stark naked_.

"I-I came with Bail," she managed.

Obi-Wan smoothly stepped between the two, breaking Anakin's line of vision. "Is there a problem?" he asked, doing what Padme called the Jedi flash-freeze from open, childlike good humor to a focused calm that at its most extreme bordered on fury. Bail felt the change in the air as both Anakin and Dannie grew immediately serious and homed in on the answer. One of the closed shower curtains slid open and-Force help him-a female Zabrak peered out, spray edging her horns, intent on his answer.

"Just a request from the Chancellor for a meeting with the Council soon," he stammered out. Just like that, the edge to the air vanished, leaving the room feeling very clear, even though steam thickened the air.

Obi-Wan snorted. "Not likely. Not if I have a say in it." He pulled his towel up to dry off his hair, an action that triggered a squawk of protest from Anakin.

"You know I like it when you do that last."

Obi-Wan squinted at him. "We have company, Anakin." His face said, "Don't you dare."

_You have company, and you haven't noticed that you're in the wrong 'fresher?_

"I don't care," Anakin returned stubbornly. "They're friends, aren't they? You say they're our closest allies in the Senate, that they're honorable, trustworthy senators. Coming from you, that pretty much makes them family. Anyway, I like it when your hair is wet. It looks pretty."

Dannie paused in her drying, obviously interested to hear the outcome of the conversation.

Obi-Wan scowled. "That was touching when you were nine, Anakin. It's annoying and fairly creepy now."

"The water makes your highlights stand out and- _Creepy?_"

"Yes. Get over your childish obsession with my hair. And I do not have highlights."

"Yes, you do. I can see them right now. The lighting's just right in here; it practically makes them glow." Perturbed, he wheeled to face Padme, still by the door. "Does he or does he not have highlights?"

The corners of Padme's mouth twitched as if it couldn't decide whether to smile or frown. Bail wondered if it had something to do with Obi-Wan being in the same room as a young, admittedly very attractive woman who also happened to be wearing nothing at all. "Y-yes." She focused on Obi-Wan. "Yes."

"See?" Anakin asked triumphantly. "They're sort of auburn and copper and… Here, see-" He tried to separate an auburn strand to emphasize his point, but Obi-Wan swatted him away.

"I mean it, Anakin. If you don't stop this nonsense right now, so help me I'll make you meditate for the rest of the week."

Chagrinned, Anakin took a step back. "Fine," he muttered, and began pulling off his over-robe.

"What are you doing?" Bail demanded.

Anakin gave him a look meant to skewer. "Taking a shower. Why?" "Because this is the _female 'fresher_!" Bail hollered, voice almost shrill.

Silence, then: "Why is that such a problem for you?" from Obi-Wan. It was too much. It was just too much. "What is wrong with you?" Bail demanded. "There are women in here, and you just blithely wear nothing but a towel, and you starting undressing in front of everyone-" He pointed to Anakin.

Obi-Wan's blank look clearly said that he did not follow.

"Ohhhhh," Anakin said suddenly. "I know what the problem is." Obi-Wan turned to him with a puzzled frown, as did Dannie. Anakin looked from Dannie to Obi-Wan to Bail and back again, looking like he was trying his utmost not to snicker or smirk. "Cultural nudity taboos, Master. On Alderaan, they probably wouldn't dream of having communal 'freshers." "We don't have them on Naboo, either," Padme interjected with a pointed smile. If it was directed at Obi-Wan, he remained woefully oblivious.

"Communal?" Bail asked blankly. "You mean all the Jedi use this 'fresher?"

"Well, not _all_," Obi-Wan allowed. "Obviously there are far too many of us for that. But yes. The Temple refreshers are accessible to all genders and species. I forgot that bothered most humans."

"Remember how embarrassed I was the first time I found out?" Anakin asked with a self-deprecatory snort as he continued to strip off his tunic. "What?" he asked when Bail stared. "Our home, our rules. You're welcome to leave if you don't like them."

Bail almost snapped at the infuriating young man that decorum demanded that in front of women who were not intimate family members-namely sisters, wives, or mothers-men should remain fully clothed at all times.

Padme grabbed his arm and pulled him to a corner of the room. "I think you're overreacting, Bail. It makes sense for them, really."

"How?"

"Well, they're not allowed attachment, so romance is out. Without potential romance, there's no sexual tension, so I imagine doing away with the cares associated with what they can't have is quite freeing." She studiously kept her attention on his face, he noticed, while her voice went wistfully vague.

"So it doesn't bother you that Obi-Wan sees naked females every day? That Anakin does?" He added the second as a safety net as he fished for a response. If his two friends were indeed illicitly involved, repercussions would abound. He didn't know whether he would rather know or not if they were.

Padme smiled in wry affection. "They don't seem to notice it at all. Sometimes it seems they're more like innocent children than battle-hardened veterans."

Bail struggled to regain his composure. Alderaan was a progressive world, what some might call enlightened, embracing total equality and peaceful resolution of conflict. However, the society was still fairly conservative, especially among the noble families. Proper decorum had been drilled into him from infancy.

He still clearly remembered his older sisters' chastisement when he had run from the 'fresher after his bath before the nursemaid could dress him. "Nudie suit is a no-no."

_Adages like that are almost enough to make me wish I'd been born Force-sensitive_, he thought with an embarrassed wince. _It's their culture_, he recited mentally. _I respect other cultures, even if their customs strike disgust into my heart-and this one certainly doesn't. It's just so…peculiar._

Jedi were the heroes of a generation of younglings who watched their victories raptly on the holonews, viewed by many loyal citizens as the best and only safeguard of a dangerously teetering Republic. If those devoted millions only knew that when their champions returned home from the war, in the sacrosanct interior of their palatial Temple, they transformed into a colony of nudists…

Bail couldn't help but laugh as he imagined the shocked expressions on the faces of adults, as well as the exhibitionist trend sure to result among enthusiast younglings across the galaxy. Casual bareness certainly didn't match the Jedi's image as a sect of aloof, monastic warriors. With their larger-than-life reputation, many beings surely never considered how they handled the practicalities of life, like sanitation.

"What other secrets are you all hiding in here, anyway?" Bail asked, wheeling to see Obi-Wan fully clothed, crawling on hands and knees and peering into corners and unoccupied toilet cubicles.

"Where are those blasted boots? Anakin!"

"Are you sure you brought them?" Anakin called from behind one of the shower curtains.

"Yes! They were right here. I left them with my change of clothes, I swear."

"You must have dropped them down the laundry chute with your dirty ones, then."

Obi-Wan sat up abruptly and cracked his head on the wall of a cubicle. "Fierfek!" he yelped.

Anakin peered out. "Are you okay?"

"Not another word, or I will strike you down," Obi-Wan growled as he clutched his head. Anakin shrugged and ducked back into his stall. Padme was convulsed with laughter now, hands pressed to her mouth to keep from giggling out loud.

A hand touched Bail's arm. He jumped. Dannie, dressed now in standard Jedi robes, bowed. "I'm sorry I startled you, Senator. I didn't realize."

Bail flushed, but forced himself to bow in return. Not a princely bow, either, he realized as he was already straightening, but a Jedi-style bow. He spent far too much time with these people. "No, I apologize. It was out of line for me to tell you how to behave in your own home. No matter how uncomfortable I am, it doesn't give me the right to force my opinions on others, especially not valued allies."

Dannie smiled crookedly. "Next time I sense you, I'll think twice before presenting myself in all my glory."

Bail laughed uneasily and shared a glance with Padme. "If I can ask, does it ever bother you? How do you manage it?"

Dannie shrugged. "I've grown up with it. Besides, even if it bothered you, you'd have to get over it eventually. I'm sure I've seen every Jedi in the Temple naked at one time or another."

"Every-"

The door whisked open. Master Yoda tapped his way in.

Even with the principles of cross-cultural respect and humility at stake, that was asking too much. Bail was out of there in a flash, pulling a surprised Padme with him.

Yoda peered in concern after the fleeing Senators. "Something wrong, is there? Wish to welcome such esteemed friends to our home, I did. Yet flee like the Sith are on their heels, they do."

Anakin emerged from the shower, donned a towel, and crouched down beside Obi-Wan. The Council Master lay curled on the floor, hands clutching his head, still barefoot. Anakin trailed his fingers gently through Obi-Wan's wet hair, eliciting a mumbled threat in response. "Something about preserving feeble illusions of dignity, I think."

Yoda squinted at him. "Say something tactless, did you, young Skywalker?"

"No," Anakin returned truthfully. He smiled deviously. "Though Dannie Quee might have. I think it was all just too much information."


End file.
